A very popular company has disclosed its intentions to extend the age of retirement to 80.

The company revealed, warmly, that its staff has proven useful tools in ensuring that the bottom line of the company remains more than satisfactory.

In a statement made available to Corporate Tumble, the management said that although many staff members have opted to resign, the company finds it hard to unshackle itself from its staff and would ensure that they stay until they are due to retire at the ripe age of 80.

“Resigning isn’t even an option. We love everyone here. We owe salaries, we overuse our staff, but that is capitalism,” explained a board member.

Speaking with Ms. Titi Black, who says she hopes that her comments to Corporate Tumble would facilitate her sack, she said that the slavery ride at the company was fun while it lasted and she, as well as almost 90 percent of the staff, would like to get off the ride.

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“We can’t get jobs anywhere else because we’ve been told that every application we make at other organizations will be thwarted.”

Other staff members we spoke to said that there were lured by the familiar words used by companies, “we are a family”, and that this company has taken it a step further by ensuring that the family remains closely knitted, meaning, no one leaves.

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Tragically, some staff members are seeking a quick escape, suicide.

“Since that is the only way they can let us leave,” says a staff member contemplating the move.

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