Nigerian me are not the most romantic, and if we are being honest they have been screwed up enough to not know what romance looks like.

Many thanks to Hollywood movies – Nollywood movies, una try but no too try- some men have taken one or two romantic lessons that sometimes still come off as “shebi na wetin you want”.

It is truly hard to really point out how Nigerian men show romance because they have been hardwired to not show their romantic sides.

They are either thinking about how to display their masculinity with such an aggressive show of force or some unnecessary offensive speech to women or even men.

We know that they are not to blame, as the current status quo has fucked them up to the extent that they feel that romance is an unnecessary part of the discussion. But to highlight the extent of their fucked up state…

…we have put together ways Nigerian men show their romance – hard as it is.

1. Buy a Matching Outfit

It is commonplace on social media to see couples wearing matching outfits, marking territories and all, but in the Nigerian context, this sight is a once-in-a-happy-mood moment.

Papa Nkechi, in a good mood, anticipating that union meeting will tell his wife he has bought them some nice ankara “Wey we go take wear go that party, make dem know say we sef sabi sontin”. And honestly, it is usually a sight to behold, because that is when Papa Nkechi is his most romantic, clutching to his wife and ensuring that the stains on her shoes are wiped off. But she must not delay with the makeup because…na shout and strong face go end am.

2. Buy Chicken

This is a pure display of romance on the part of Nigerian men, especially when it isn’t some public celebration.

If they buy chicken, it means that belle dey sweet the man. Children are happy, mama Nkechi rubs papa Nkechi’s chest, papa Nkechi smiles because hi alpha status is retained.

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3. Take Family to Mr. Biggs

Ah, big event, if papa Nkechi takes his family to Mr. Biggs, it probably means Mama Nkechi is about to take in again, belle is sure in the coming weeks, if they are still able to. The equivalence of this in the younger generation is KFC; scramble the letters and add a ‘U’, and the day’s mission is complete.

4. Gifts

Earrings, shoes, bags. Watch the satisfactory smile on Papa Nkechi’s face.

5. Show Up In Church

Normally Papa Nkechi wouldn’t care if Jesus made an appearance at church on Sundays but on that special day he has chosen to show that sweet side of him; he’d wake up early, assist in preparing the children for church, even reminding Mama Nkechi whose stomach is cramped with butterflies because ’tis the season.

6. Showcase Wife’s Cooking Skills

This is one of the top ways Papa Nkechi shows his romantic side. He’ll call his friends over to taste his wife’s food, smiling sheepishly as his friends compliment her cooking, giving her that boyish look as if it is the first time he’s noticing her. No better way to show his wife off than her kitchen skills. The bedroom skills can be gossiped with the guys later, out of Mama Nkechi’s earshot.

7. Pocket Money

All the requests that Mama Nkechi has made for weeks or months will finally be granted like Santa in Christmas.

You don’t have to be selfish, if you enjoyed this post, kindly share it with friends and enemies.

Note: News stories and articles on this platform only serve to provide humor and should not be taken as seriously as the serious news publications out there. It is fake news.

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