Nigeria – There are so many things that are potential harm to our lives in this country, but what are the things that could potentially save you while in Nigeria? That is what we will be looking into in this piece: how to survive in Nigeria.
“Nigeria is out to kill you,” someone once tweeted, and the things we see on a daily basis offer no contention to that statement.
Everything from Nigerians themselves to the laws that are enacted by our ogas at the top and so forth.
Every day, we swerve out of the way of these things because if you don’t swerve out of their way, they will surely take you down.
Talking too much already, what are the things you would need to survive in Nigeria? Check the list below.
Here are the six things you need to survive in Nigeria.
Have a Friend In Government
There is no sure way to survive in this country than to have someone in power. Even in the face of police brutality, a call to one senator or governor or someone in power is one sure way to release you from the clutches of evil.
Someone touched you? “Do you know who I am? Just wait there let me call senator”, fiam, your problems are gone.
Have Rich Parents
This one never fails. To be respected anywhere, especially here, you need someone to have money because how else would you bribe your way out of the valley of death?
You need rich parents too because they will help you navigate this thing called living in Nigeria. For more inquiries, reach out to a privileged kid today.
As long as you have their mumu button, that mountain shall be moved. What are problems when you have a sugar daddy/mummy in your life?
It even gets better when you have more than one; then you’re balling. Living in Nigeria would like a breeze.
READ ALSO: Things You’ll Need To Drive On Lagos Roads
Stay Away From the News
This is very important. News in Nigeria has the ability to pierce deeply into your heart and almost cause you to die.
The best advice given was “do not read Nigerian news if you want to live longer”.
It is best that one heeds to that advice because every day you are exposed to life-threatening news.
Is it the N2 billion meant for one project that would serve the country that that senator embezzled and still walks and talks like nothing happened? You get the point.
Plan Your Abroad Trip
This is one way to ensure that you live for as long as you can while in this country.
Even if you do not have money to afford a trip abroad, just be planning it in your head.
Arrange clothes inside a bag. Tell yourself you’ll get a passport. Check out the country you want to go to and see the beautiful sights there and inhale the sanity through your phone.
Have Rich Friends
These ones, if you’re close enough, one sure way to get you out of your misery.
You know rich people in this country, at least most of them, like to shaye, shaye with them. You cannot come and die and kill yourself and go away on top of Nigeria’s wahala.
Stay well, my brethren
You don’t have to be selfish, if you enjoyed this post, kindly share it with friends and enemies.
Note: News stories and articles on this platform only serve to provide humor and should not be taken as seriously as the serious news publications out there. It is fake news.